Friday, July 09, 2010

Friday Headline Pun-vitational

Lindsay Pollock points us to this story that's giving me the munchies:

Bringing a whole new meaning to “high art,” David Allison surprised a public information session on the Vancouver Art Gallery’s proposed move this week with his tales from the vault. As a member of the VAG’s acquisitions committee, Mr. Allison has visited the gallery’s basement storage, and reports not only an “appalling” leak down there, but that he has also detected the scent of marijuana smoke in the air.

“It wafts in from the front steps. So here I am in this room surrounded by Emily Carrs and Group of Seven pieces and all these amazing, amazing contemporary artworks that we have in our possession as a city and as a citizenry, and there’s dope wafting through the air.”

Mr. Allison, a Vancouver marketer specializing in real estate, made the observations about the storage facility on Wednesday night to illustrate the need for the move.

“It’s not an ideal situation for us to be storing our legacy for the future.”

The VAG is a notorious gathering point for pro-marijuana events (such as the annual 420 gathering) and it’s not unusual to see – and smell – pot being smoked outside.

“On average, there’s someone smoking a joint here every hour,” a bike courier who would identify himself as only The Kid said outside the VAG on Thursday. He and a group of colleagues said they gather there every day and, yes, they indulge.

While Mr. Allison said, “it just seems like common sense” that pot smoke would affect the art collection in storage, gallery director Kathleen Bartels assured The Globe and Mail that the works are protected.

“We monitor on a daily, hour-by-hour basis,” she said, suggesting Mr. Allison was in a different part of the basement from the vault when he smelled the smoke. “We don’t have leaking water in the vault,” she added.

The pot-smoking bike couriers dismissed the idea as well. “You’d think those things would be secure,” The Kid said. “Isn’t the vault a self-contained unit? Air tight?”

Yes, I know the diehards dedicated to legalizing marijuana HATE pot puns ("You're trivializing a serious issue, Dude..."), but, well, they can be really funny -- or at least seem so when you're under the influence -- so I'm offering a follow-up blog post praising your unquestionable genius for the best, punniest headline submitted for this story. My early-morning effort :

"VAG Trustees Hash Out Reasons for Proposed Move."

Labels: contest


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hooch found in VAG on a Summer's Eve.

---- ondine nyc

7/09/2010 10:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Greg said...

"VAG Trustees Advocate Rolling Out Amid Chronic Problems and Blazing a Trail to a New Joint"

7/09/2010 10:17:00 AM  
Blogger Sowa Mai's dog said...

chronic conditions plague VAG

future legacy endangered by Indulgent couriers

VAG on PCP? claims pot will rot

7/09/2010 11:00:00 AM  
Anonymous brandon said...

In a blunt move VAG names Mary Jane Dimebag new director

7/09/2010 11:13:00 AM  
Anonymous Cedric C said...

I have a strong ethic about people using drugs, is that I try to evitate them like the pest. It's not the drugs that I'm against, it's the politic of supporting
the mafia that's behind it, and all of the people at the bottom of society who suffer because of it.


Cedric C

7/09/2010 01:10:00 PM  
Blogger joy said...

VAG Seeks Joint Support for High Art: Front Steps Flap Cited as Smoke Screen.

7/09/2010 01:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Mr. Allison Dubious Reproach"

7/09/2010 01:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Oriane Stender said...

Leak in Vag? Smoke May Be Irritant.

7/09/2010 01:50:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Old Roaches Stoked Seminal Spliff in VAG.


7/09/2010 03:23:00 PM  
Blogger joy said...

At the VAG, Roaches Check-in But They Can't Check Out!

7/09/2010 03:47:00 PM  
Blogger C. L. DeMedeiros said...


maybe I'm just too paranoid...

7/09/2010 09:09:00 PM  
Anonymous MATTHEW ROSE said...

Take an All Star Break with Rubens Rounding Third:

7/12/2010 07:01:00 AM  
Anonymous Gam said...

VAG experiences vagues of
Very Aromatic Gases

7/12/2010 09:14:00 AM  

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