Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Art Joke Bumper Sticker Contest

OK, so the bar was set pretty darn high with Oriane's gift on yesterday's thread:

those who can do. those who can't duchamp.

but per request, let's see what other zingers you've got in your repetoires. My new fave is an actual bumper sticker that's been around for a while (circa 1977) but I only saw recently at the Art Institute:

If you like conceptual art think about honking.
Winner will be offered a toast with this exquisite Kyrgyz cognac we brought back and keep in the gallery (so long as you stop in to visit and collect...we can't mail it). If you don't like Kyrgyz cognac (and how would anyone know, eh?) we'll come up with another prize (a mailable one for those not in NYC).

Today, let's have the submissions...we'll vote tomorrow.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

The words 'retard' in white letters within a red-colored field bumper sticker.

2/14/2007 08:59:00 AM  
Anonymous David said...

art is not what you think

2/14/2007 11:10:00 AM  
Anonymous will said...

I paid $92,000 to Yale and all I got was a lousy solo show in Chelsea?!?

or the ever popular

My parents paid $92,000 to Yale and all I got was a lousy solo show in Chelsea?!?

2/14/2007 11:24:00 AM  
Anonymous Elizabeth said...

My favorite, seen in the wild in Boston in the mid-nineties, was a play on "Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty." Someone had taken a bumper sticker with that text and had cut it up and assembled it ransom-note-style to read:

Act kind of random and practice beauty sense.

2/14/2007 11:59:00 AM  
Anonymous oriane said...

This was a actually a graffito I saw in San Francisco years ago, not a bumper sticker, and not art-related, but it's still good.

first a little background: there was a phrase going around, mocking and reversing the original, that went: "reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs".

I don't know if this was a typo or not, but on the wall of the bathroom of The Stud (long lost gay bar) i saw:

realty is just a crutch for people can't handle drugs.

2/14/2007 12:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Giraffeti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

2/14/2007 12:13:00 PM  
Blogger Heart As Arena said...

In the 70's, potter extraordinaire and Juniata College arts prof, Jack Troy, used to drive a VW van with a bumper sticker that said "The Gogh Van".

2/14/2007 12:23:00 PM  
Anonymous oriane said...

that reminds me of the van that would take people across the UC Berkeley campus to the subway (BART, or bay area rapid transit) called Humphrey GoBART. I think there was also a Van Go.

2/14/2007 12:45:00 PM  
Blogger jf said...

"Don't blame me I voted for zombie Joseph Beuys" That one is currently on my car. It's made by Cat & Girl, an internet comic. They also make others that read, "My other car is a Pynchon novel" and "Future corpses of America." These are so baffling, I love 'em.

2/14/2007 12:49:00 PM  
Anonymous Cedric Caspesyan said...

I'm gonna go yoko:

"Imagine art"

"this could be your art"

2/14/2007 12:50:00 PM  
Anonymous Eric said...

The Marfa bookstore has some great Judd bumper stickers including "WWDJD?", but my favorite is their takeoff on the I (heart) NY sticker -

Not technically a bumper sticker, but along the same lines (and, hey, it's Valentine's Day) is Patrick Welch's ode to Matthew Barney -

2/14/2007 12:58:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

those judd ones are pretty good.
which reminds me I also like
Who Would Jesus Bomb?
although not art related

2/14/2007 01:36:00 PM  
Anonymous markcreegan said...

Jackson Pollock is my Co-Pilot
(You think I'd let him drive?)

2/14/2007 01:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Cedric said...

Ohh that soooo cute..the matthew barney pin !!!!

2/14/2007 01:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"if it doesn't work make it bigger,
if it still doesn't work make a lot of them"

From the elevator of the Cleveland Institute of Art circa 1996

2/14/2007 03:09:00 PM  
Anonymous markcreegan said...

Feelin meta right now:

"I won an art blog joke bumper sticker contest and all i got was this lousy bumper sticker!"

2/14/2007 03:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

bumper sticker:

my other car is a warhol


how dumb is that?

would look good on a real beater though.

2/14/2007 04:35:00 PM  
Anonymous ml said...

I always liked:

Expose yourself to art (with the trench coat open).

But I'm working on a political one:

The next hot investment: gill technology.

2/14/2007 04:38:00 PM  
Blogger Bill Gusky said...

Ceci n'est pas une voiture

Take Something.
Crash Something Into It.
Crash Something Into It Again.

"Car" -- 2006
Enamel on sheet metal, glass, steel, vinyl, aluminum, chrome, artificial rubber, hydraulics, electronics
Collection: The Artist

My Other Car is a Painting of a Car

2/14/2007 04:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Noddy said...

After "I'd rather be fishing"

"I'd rather be famous"

or how about a blank bumper sticker to denote how cool I am i don't even have a sign

After the "reality is for those who cant handle drugs"

art is for those whose drugs stopped working

art is for those who cant handle reality

2/14/2007 05:30:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"My artist is an honor roll student at the Conceptual School of Abstract Thought"

2/14/2007 06:06:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


2/14/2007 06:45:00 PM  
Blogger George said...


2/14/2007 08:47:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about 'I HEART MOTI HASSON', seems to be shaking the ground somewhat at this moment.

2/14/2007 09:08:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The End of Art (rear bumper)
Rear Vision Art (front)
Art We Know, and Trust In
Left-hand Artist at the Wheel
My mother left me for an Artist
Right Art Now!
Kiss Me Abstract
Concentrate on the signal not the art!
Motor Art High Way
Pick up the Phoneme -
Art is Calling!

2/14/2007 09:25:00 PM  
Blogger Nolan said...

Richard Serra, Mark DiSuvero, and the ghost of David smith walk into a bar.

Just then, Richard Serra turns to the ghost of David Smith and says, "are you going to let him talk to you like that?"

Gets me every time.


2/14/2007 11:23:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks your an asshole

2/15/2007 01:59:00 AM  
Anonymous jon shore said...

Sale: S600 Lot: 07 Sotheby's

2/15/2007 03:21:00 PM  
Blogger Walker said...

Seen at an outdoor art festival on the back of a cargo trailer:

"Who Arted?"

Robin Walker,

2/16/2007 01:13:00 PM  
Blogger Paul Schmelzer said...

Nice contest! Here's a shot of the Walker's "Think about honking" sticker produced six or seven years ago:

2/18/2007 02:16:00 PM  

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