The Naked Social Conservatives

As Joe Orton observed so well, given enough time, people will always reveal their true selves, most often when they think they're doing their very best to disguise it. But just as nearly each of the characters in Orton's masterpiece "What the Butler Saw" ends up virtually naked at the very point they're trying hardest to fool others, so too do most humans fall prey to their own dramatic efforts to convince others of their lies, raising their arms in emphasis at that climatic moment, just to let their coverings fall in doing so. The response from so-called Christian groups to the New Jersey Supreme Court's ruling on gay marriage is a textbook example of that principle.

The New Jersey court decision that gay couples are entitled to the same rights as heterosexual couples was bad news for social conservatives -- the bad news they were hoping for.

"Pro-traditional-marriage organizations ought to give a distinguished service award to the New Jersey Supreme Court," said the Rev. Richard Land, head of the public policy arm of the Southern Baptist Convention.

Land and other conservative religious leaders predicted that the court's 4 to 3 ruling, which was handed down Wednesday, would boost turnout of social conservatives in the midterm elections, particularly in the eight states that have constitutional amendments against same-sex marriage on the Nov. 7 ballot.

"I have to think there are Democratic strategists out there thinking the words of the old Japanese admiral: 'I fear all we've done is wake a sleeping giant,' " said Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, a Washington-based advocacy group. "They were coasting into an election with a Republican base with dampened enthusiasm. This brings it all back home to the base, what this election is about."

Of course, these social conservatives think they're full clothed. They've always insisted that unless their followers get politically involved, the nation's courts would force gay marriage down their throats. This is the proof of their preaching.

What they obviously don't quite grasp, however, is that they've revealed their true motivations here. None of them is condemning the NJ courts, as one would expect in response to a decision they insist is harmful to the public. On the contrary, they're celebrating the decision. It's not at all important to them that the citizens of New Jersey will have gay marriage forced upon them, apparently. If it were, they would be protesting the decision. After all, this is very bad for families, very bad for children, very bad for society, no?

No, what's very clearly imporant to them is that this (they hope) will now bring out the voters they need to keep their power in Washington (earlier efforts to rally the base on this issue had fallen flat this year). Make no mistake, their power is what this represents to them, a political livesaver tossed out just before they drowned with the rest of the GOP in the midterms. If it were not about that...if their real motivation were to stop gay marriage...then this decision would be a considerable blow to their cause, not a reason to break out the bubbly (or whatever social conservatives use to toast victories). It demands a new word for "cynical," this response.

Watching these naked social conservatives dance their victory jigs in response to the decision should, one would hope, finally open the eyes of the voters they've been exploiting. I mean it's parallel to thanking God for the death of a high-profile celebrity who died of lung cancer just so you have an example to illustrate the dangers of smoking. It's twisted. It's also, of course, just how sausage is made in DC, but it's farcical to watch these bloated bare bodies bounce off each other knowing they'll later turn to face the voters in all earnestness and claim this is about their families. Orton understood farce...someone might send Dobson, Perkins, et al., an anthology.