Thursday, July 06, 2006

Bitter and Disgusted

The New York Supreme Court has rejected gay marriage. Bambino and I have been waiting for this decision to plan our future. At the moment it seems pretty clear that our future lies outside the United States (or at least in Massachusetts). You should never speak your mind in anger, I know, but at the moment all I can feel toward the bigoted system in this country is bitterness and disgust. That may be historically unrealistic, but I don't care. For us, time is running out. It will now likely take decades before we'll have the rights, respect, and security we deserve in New York. Maybe they can wheel me down the aisle.


Simple-minded morons!!!!!


From Empire State Pride Agenda's Executive Director Alan Van Capelle

"Today New York's highest court decided by a vote of 4 to 2 that the State of New York can discriminate against gays & lesbians & our families by continuing to deny the protections that come w/ legal marriage. It is now up to our lawmakers to right this wrong & act on the will of the majority of New Yorkers & provide full marriage equality for same sex couples & our families. Tonight, our community & our friends will gather in rallies across the state to let New York know that the marriage debate is not going away & that Albany needs to act quickly to protect our families from discrimination by passing a marriage equality law. We will send a message to politicians who say they are our friends that this is the moment we need them to demonstrate that their friendship is more than just words. We will call on them to work w/ us in winning our freedom to marry here in New York State.

New York City
Start time: 6pm
Location: Sheridan Square (West 4 St & 7 Ave., Manhattan)
Rain Location: LGBT Community Center, 208 West 13 Street

For information outside NYC, see here.


Anonymous bambino said...


7/06/2006 11:34:00 AM  
Blogger Edward_ said...

double :(

7/06/2006 11:36:00 AM  
Anonymous David said...

Edward, this doesn't fix anything for you in NYC I'm afraid, but I can tell you from experience that Massachusetts is a pretty great place to live. Not that I'm there anymore, but I do often miss it. And I seem to remember it was pretty easy to catch a train into NYC (if you still want to).

7/06/2006 11:40:00 AM  
Blogger AFC said...

Well, there's always Canada...

7/06/2006 12:18:00 PM  
Blogger This Broad said...


give elliot spitzer a chance to get elected & make it happen here legislatively.

Attitudes are changing fast on this in the right direction; look how far the US has come in the past 5 or so years with even republicans now getting behind same sex 'civil unions' which seemed like this way-out-of-the-mainstream idea when VT legalized them.

7/06/2006 12:19:00 PM  
Blogger barry said...

Almost all marriage law is at the national level. It doesn't matter whether individual states recognize gay unions if the feds don't. They control tax laws, much of the inheritance laws, immigration, and Social Security.

I'm not holding my breath on getting the federal government to become pro-gay.

7/06/2006 12:25:00 PM  
Blogger John Morris said...

Hello. If your religion say's that love is bad. Your religion is wrong.

What's it like in Liepzig? Call Joe.

7/06/2006 12:30:00 PM  
Blogger Chris Rywalt said...

My condolences, guys. I didn't vote for the current Supreme Court, at least.

7/06/2006 12:38:00 PM  
Blogger This Broad said...

I can imagine the federal and state gov't eventually getting out of the marriage business entirely.

Let "marriage" be a purely religious institution that people can celebrate through their particular churches, synagogues, etc., and be as exclusionary as they wish about it (unfortunate as that is); let the gov't offer 'civil unions' that confer all the rights & obligations currently associated with "marriage" to all willing couples.

I know my secularism is showing, but isn't it a little weird that we have ministers, rabbis, priests, etc., acting as agents of the State in marrying people?

7/06/2006 01:02:00 PM  
Anonymous David said...

isn't it a little weird that we have ministers, rabbis, priests, etc., acting as agents of the State in marrying people?

No weirder than having elected officials using the Bible to back up their policies. Every time we have an election, look at all the candidates trying to out-pray each other. This country was founded by Puritans, and we still haven't gotten over it.

7/06/2006 01:38:00 PM  
Anonymous ml said...

The only instance of Jesus being angry in the Bible was toward money lenders. Whenever anyone I know talks about the Bible and gays, I mention that and ask how they are paying for their house - aren't they afraid to borrow money for fear of upsetting Jesus?

Christianity has a very selective set of proscriptions.

Bah on the hypocrits - hooray for love.

7/06/2006 02:12:00 PM  
Blogger serena said...

Oh, that's such a bummer, I'm so sorry.

I agree with this broad about civil unions and religious marriage. Legal rights shouldn't have anything to do with religion.

7/06/2006 02:25:00 PM  
Anonymous David said...

aren't they afraid to borrow money for fear of upsetting Jesus?

I always wonder why "Jesus Saves" is so widely ignored as a financial lesson. :)

7/06/2006 02:25:00 PM  
Blogger Chris Rywalt said...

I always thought "Jesus saves" had something to do with hockey.

7/06/2006 04:11:00 PM  
Blogger JD said...

Just disgusting, Ed and Bambino. I hope the tide turns soon, but I'm not holding my breath: homophobia seems to truly be the final frontier for change. But we'd miss you if you go. . .don't.

7/06/2006 04:22:00 PM  
Anonymous danonymous said...

gee.....I may get whacked for saying's in my nature to get into trouble by sticking my foot in my mouth.
Edward.....I am sorry for the disappointment it briungs to all of us.....but my mind shifts quickly to last dozen blogs you posted and peoples' comments...and I can't help but think that this situation sooooo mirrors the "main" art scene with the few people who seem to mandate what is current taste and leave everyone else out and feeling estranged.
Switch "galleries" for institutions,
switch gallerists for "the clergy" and/or politicians...
switch avant garde for "gay movement" which is really one of the most profoundly successful movements of the last few years excepting the right wing republican movement and have history all over again...or as Yogi Berra said...
It's deja vue all over again.
good luck to you and all of us as well. Things will change, they just never seem to do so in a convenient fashion.

7/06/2006 04:54:00 PM  
Blogger Susan Constanse said...

It's bad dark times all the way around. Didn't civil unions gain in popularity when people started marrying outside of their own faith? I bet there was a lot of uproar over that at the time.
Keep it in their face. Resistance is futile!

7/06/2006 08:26:00 PM  
Blogger Nancy Baker, aka Rebel Belle said...

Very disappointing indeed, but geez
NY needs you and Bambino! Be patient, with contintued struggle and political action,it will change, it is inevitable. It will be a different world for the next generation.

You think NY sucks, try living in Dixie!!! You guys live in Europe compared to us...

7/06/2006 10:28:00 PM  
Blogger sloth said...

AARRRGH. This pisses me off to no end. A quote from today's NYTimes:

The majority decision, written by Judge Robert S. Smith, who was appointed by Gov. George Pataki, found that limiting marriage to opposite-sex couples could be based on rational social goals, primarily the protection and welfare of children.

"Plaintiffs have not persuaded us that this long-accepted restriction is a wholly irrational one, based solely on ignorance and prejudice against homosexuals," Judge Smith wrote in his 22-page opinion. For example, he wrote, it could be argued that children benefit from being raised by two natural parents, a mother and a father, rather than by gay or lesbian couples.

I would like someone to NAME A STUDY that shows how being raised by gay parents is AT ALL detrimental to children?? Also, to privilege "natural" parents is a big fuck-you to adoptive or single parents, hello. And p.s., how about straight couples who won't or can't have kids? Should they/we not be able to get married?

All of their arguments are completely irrational. As a transplant, I have to wonder: How is it that the reliably liberal state of NY has a repugnican governor? We have GOT to get rid of this guy and his cronies.

Danonymous, I have a major bone to pick with your argument: the art world is NOT a democracy. Our political system is supposed to have built-in provisions to protect the minority from the tyrrany of the majority, i.e., courts with expert and learned judges who USE LOGIC in arriving at a decision. Which did not happen in this case. I'm going to counter your Yogi Berra quote with an unattributed one: "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Well, guess what: it's broke. Pass the Gorrilla Glue.

7/06/2006 10:50:00 PM  
Blogger sloth said...

P.S. Please, please don't leave us, Ed and Bambino. Stay & fight the good fight.

7/06/2006 10:52:00 PM  
Blogger sloth said...

another reason their rationale is idiotic/hypocritical: even if you do agree with the court's reactionary opinion, gay and lesbian couples do and will de facto continue to have kids. The fact that these kids will be unprotected by marriage laws only further "jeaopardizes" them.

7/06/2006 11:05:00 PM  
Anonymous slothy said...

sorry, I meant "tyranny." okay, I'll stop hogging your blog with my rantings now.

7/07/2006 12:14:00 AM  
Anonymous danonymous said...

Sloth said....Danonymous, I have a major bone to pick with your argument: the art world is NOT a democracy. Our political system is supposed to have built-in provisions to protect the minority from the tyrrany of the majority, i.e., courts with expert and learned judges who USE LOGIC in arriving at a decision. Which did not happen in this case. I'm going to counter your Yogi Berra quote with an unattributed one: "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Well, guess what: it's broke. Pass the Gorrilla Glue.

HI Sloth I sympathize, and I agree...the art world is not a democracy..... Now the question that begs an answer is who said the United States is a democracy?
It has democratic principles that it works toward.....very slowly....rapid only if you consider it from an evolutionary standpoint (Darwinian). Slavery officially gone in the 1860's, dicriminatory practices rampant, women get to finally vote in the early 1900's, Roe vs. Wade is still in grave danger of being repealed, electoral college system that can elect a president even if he does not win ( I don't know if that has happened yet or not) but certainly a Supreme Court allowing a candidate to hijack an election (Bush 2000), voter manipulation through discrimanatory distribution of voting facilities in Ohio allowing a loser to win (Bush two times in a row)....the Enrons, the Bank deregulations ( Trillion dollar losses covered by the government protecting perpetrators of illegal schemes including a younger Bush in Texas, I could go on and on and I'm sure you could as well with examples like that I think of it, the art world is at least as democratic as our government, maybe more.
Ed, you better not leave would create a vacuum for a republican gallery.

7/07/2006 08:56:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ed, are you seriously thinking about leaving because of this? Where would you go? Massachusetts? Canada? Europe? Does bambino need to get married because of immigration status?

7/07/2006 11:22:00 AM  
Blogger Edward_ said...

Does bambino need to get married because of immigration status? He's perfectly OK immigration wise. And I respect marriage too much to enter into it for that reason.

We simply want our lives to be settled (legally [so we can move forward with other personal plans]) and we actually want a ceremony to celebrate. It doesn't seem that much to ask, from my POV. Apparently though it threatens the very foundation of society itself. That notion reveals a pathetic world view, if you ask me.

7/07/2006 11:39:00 AM  
Anonymous David said...

If you are just looking for a progressive place to live, get a house in the Berkshires and commute in to the gallery. If New York ever catches up with the 21st century, you could always move back. Of course, you may decide not to.

7/07/2006 11:39:00 AM  
Anonymous slothy said...

If you scratch the surface, it's a fascist world view, IMO. Social conservatives are pushing on multiple fronts to restrict individual liberties: habeas corpus, reproductive rights, freedom of expression (the flag desecration bill that might just pass the senate this time around), civil rights. Democratic principals aren't being advaced anymore, they're being actively eroded. We need to bite back.

7/07/2006 12:38:00 PM  
Anonymous ml said...

The National Chamber of Commerce is targeting "liberal" state judges in key states (Ohio, Georgia to name two)to be replaced with ones who follow the agenda (as opposed to the law). Ostensibly they are trying to get pro-business judges on the bench. Right now in Georgia there is a law banning gay marriages before the state Supreme Court. Against all rules of etiquette, two of the judges up for reelection stated during arguments that they were opposed to gay marriage. The one who asked questions and would not register an opinion until she heard all the arguments and reflected upon them - this judge is targeted for replacement. She is the most pro-business one of the group up for reelection but is the one targeted. The law BTW is horribly written and should be overturned on that ground alone. So apparently the National Chamber of Commerce is actively trying to ban gay marriages.

7/07/2006 01:05:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ed, how long have you and bambino been together. I agree that this decision is terrible and unfair, but can't you two have a committment ceremony that means something to you and your community? Do you really have to get married?

7/07/2006 01:59:00 PM  
Blogger Edward_ said...

We've been together 5 years and in every way, except legally, live as if married.

I agree that this decision is terrible and unfair, but can't you two have a committment ceremony that means something to you and your community? Do you really have to get married?

I imagine you meant that in only the most considerate way, Anonymous, but here's how it sounds to my (admittedly hypersensitive) ears:

I agree that this decision is terrible and unfair, but can't you two satisfy yourselves with some harmless and PRIVATE cheap imitation of what you've been taught your whole life represents a truly joyous occassion once you find that person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Do you really have to upset the majority by insisting that you're their equals?

7/07/2006 02:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All the ruling said was that the NY Supreme Court can't make a gay marriage law--the state legislature makes laws. That's pretty elementary civics.

Instead of whining and pouting and name-calling, band together with all the like-minded folk of NY to get a bill introduced and passed in the state legislature.

You want to call this a "civil rights" issue? OK. Did women sit around waiting for some philosopher-king to give them voting rights? Good God, NO! They organized and rallied and persuaded state legislatures and male voters.

I used to be sympathetic to the "gay marriage" argument, but I grew tired of the childishness and the end-runs around the Constitution. There's a mechanism in place to change the law--stop crying about how horrible the rest of us are and fucking DO SOMETHING.

7/07/2006 02:40:00 PM  
Blogger serena said...

can't you two satisfy yourselves with some harmless and PRIVATE cheap imitation of what you've been taught your whole life

Ed, I want to tell you how much I admire and respect you. You've pointed out what much of our modern culture seems to have forgotten, or never understood--that commitment happens in the context of a community. Commitments are difficult and challenging at the best of times, and they are nearly impossible to maintain when the people around us do not support them. This is why marriage ceremonies are NOT just for the main participants and immediate family members; they are a public declaration, upheld by the community at large.

Being supported by the community, commitments benefit the entire community. The notion that gay marriage is 'bad for children' is ludicrous--there are hundreds of thousands of gay parents already out there. Strengthening the community context of marriage in general, particularly gay marriage, can only benefit these children.

I admire you, Edward, because you keep your temper with ignorant, bigoted people, are consistently kind, patient and rational, and passionately and sincerely committed to your partner and your vocation. You are the kind of person who will eventually help to make lasting, positive changes in the world.

7/07/2006 02:43:00 PM  
Blogger This Broad said...

hi unsympathetic anonymous,

This here site that you're posting on is called a blog. It is a place where people write opinions and discuss them.

If you would like to witness more "activity", go outside and find some. The course of action you are suggesting is exactly what gay marriage advocates, no doubt including some of those who have posted here, are doing.

PS What the ruling actually said was that the NY State Constitution does not give everyone in this state the 'fundamental right' to marry the person they choose. This is a matter of some dispute, as a strong dissenting opinion states. Check it out yourself.

7/07/2006 03:10:00 PM  
Anonymous bambino said...

i am already married, but what i want is to be able totally use all my rights as everyone else. i am paying same taxes every year, even more since i can't legally get married. why wouldn't i spend that money to build my future???
or why i can't use all my rights because of my sexual orientation???

am i different than anyone else? i dont think so. so, i have to have all rights as everyone else.

7/07/2006 03:10:00 PM  
Blogger sloth said...

Anon, agreed that activism and legislative pressure is absolutely the way to go, but this ruling weakens any legislative move to legalize gay marriage, as well as any future court challenges. This is actually a setback and deserves to be railed against. Describing an expression of dismay and outrage in a public forum "whining and pouting" itself sounds awfully akin to name-calling. it certainly is belittling and not very constructive.

Bambino, you absolutely ought to be entitled to equal protection under the law (including marriage law), as stated in the 14th amendment to the US constitution. Unfortunately, the idiotic voters in this country insist on electing right-wing politicians who appoint judges who don't see it this way.

7/07/2006 03:26:00 PM  
Blogger Edward_ said...

unsympathetic Anonymous,

Climb down off that high horse, Hoss. I've spent over 20 years working in committees, coughing up cash, marching, voting, signing petitions, pressuring employers (including my own), and writing endlessly for this issue, so you'll excuse me for dismissing some anonymous voice that suggests I need to "fucking DO SOMETHING."

The idea that anything could make you unsympathetic toward a basic human right suggests you're already part of the problem.

I realize the legislative path strikes many people as the best way forward on this issue (it also serves nicely as a serious hurdle, but I'm sure that's just a coincidence for most people, eh?), but what you're ignoring in your condescending civics lesson is that the women's movement had a significant advantage over the gay movement: numbers. Gays are a tiny minority in this country. So your implied parallel is wanting.

I'm sure you're familiar with the notion that the courts are, by design, a defense against the tryanny of the majority. This is a perfect example of where that is designed to work. It would be great if we didn't need to resort to that, but with hatemongers working overtime to overturn the paltry anti-discrimination laws gays have managed to eek out of ambivalent-at-best legislatures, the legislative path is clearly still only step 1 toward equality. The courts WILL eventually have to do their jobs here. I was hoping it might be in my lifetime.

Finally, and with all due consideration, who needs your sympathy? Just be a decent human being.

7/07/2006 03:35:00 PM  
Anonymous bambino said...

You go darlinKKK :)

7/07/2006 03:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Franklin said...

I hereby pronounce you married to one another in the name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Ramen.

7/07/2006 04:28:00 PM  
Blogger Edward_ said...

I hereby pronounce you married to one another in the name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Ramen.

Ahh...a Saucy, Sacrilegious, Ceremony...

7/07/2006 04:53:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Edw, you must be older than you look. You've spent 20 years fighting? You look like a sweet young thing.

7/07/2006 05:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, since you say that artists should post their date of birth on their resume, maybe you should post yours on your blog! : )

7/07/2006 05:54:00 PM  
Blogger Edward_ said...

Hey, since you say that artists should post their date of birth on their resume, maybe you should post yours on your blog! : )

I've already got a gallery ;-)

just kidding. I'm 68.


7/07/2006 06:04:00 PM  
Anonymous ml said...

The California senate and house, both Democratically controlled, passed legislation to permit gay marriages and Republican Governor Terminator refused to sign it into law saying that the courts should decide the issue. With a Republican governor and a Republican senate in New York, no way anything done in NYC will change their minds. New minds are needed.

7/07/2006 07:05:00 PM  
Blogger Daniel Cooney said...


I am personally ashamed of this fucking state and city that we live in and that I grew up in! I hate it but where else is there to go? My life is here even if others who live here view me as a second class citizen.

But, as I've said many times... why should we be surprised? This country full of idiots elected George Bush TWICE!

7/08/2006 06:50:00 PM  
Blogger barry said...

Not to pick on you Dan, but that kind of naiveté is part of what got gays into such a state in America.

Even if many think the majority might have voted for him the first time, there is a huge amount of evidence against the second election being legitimate.

7/08/2006 08:13:00 PM  
Blogger barry said...

Oops. Didn't finish my thought. Of course, the idea that Bush could even run for reelection after Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib means the American people are stupid at best, if not complicit and evil.

7/08/2006 08:28:00 PM  
Blogger aurix said...

You can read excerpts from the ruling here:

I read the majority opinion and was surprised because it didn't even make sense. The dissenting opinion was very well written, though.

7/09/2006 12:20:00 AM  
Anonymous Cedric Caspesyan said...

But who wants to stay in New York?
I mean..Do I?

Does Madonna?

If you can have the luxury to visit the city 6 times a year and more you don't need to stay in New York.

In the case of Edward, why not hide a bed in the gallery itself and sleep there when you really need it but then stay 3 hours away from the city and get someone to work there.

At 68..come need quality of life. New York is too much about
survival craze, and trying to keep your dignity all the time because some new looser got rich and is trying to make fun of you, when it's not because your rights aren't recognized in apparently the coolest place in America (says Madonna).

Happiness is more important than New York, baby.

Cedric Caspesyan
(In Gay Montreal)

7/10/2006 10:54:00 AM  
Blogger Lisa Hunter said...

Edward, you and Bambino would be welcomed warmly in Montreal. You can get married here, live without the indignity of gay-bashing, and have free healthcare to boot.

7/10/2006 11:47:00 AM  
Anonymous Cedric Caspesyan said...

...but it's really really bad for art market. ;-P

Cedric Casp.

(not that there isn't great art.
gosh there is greater art sometimes in poor non-profits than in big commercial galleries. It;s just these people dont care about the market, and the market is lazy receiving slides instead of digging the goods..yes, yes, you're all accused.)

7/10/2006 12:06:00 PM  
Blogger Jenny Walty said...

The majority opinion was so upsetting, and I can't believe they trotted out that old line, "Think of the children!" It's preposterous and the dissenting opinion should have been the majority.

The LGBT community is highly organized and effective and we will win equal rights for all, we will see it in our lifetimes. The protest rally hopefully Olifted your spirits a little, it was good to see so much support.

On the legislative side, there are races that matter and a multi-cycle strategy to take control of the NYS State Senate and by getting the support of the three Albany power-brokers we will have a fighting chance.

2008 is two more years, we've been patient and put our faith in the courts. It's time to fight! Time is on our side, my generation is with you.

7/10/2006 11:45:00 PM  
Anonymous Cedric Caspesyan said...

the number of straight dad and mommy turning gay is enormous, I wonder if it doesn't top the number of gays and lesbians actually wanting kids.

Oppression will never stop homosexuality, it will only make it
harder for people to be able to address their own sexuality.

Who cares that kids learn that gay exist? They already know it. Actually they make fun at it at school because their dad or the dad of their friends make fun at it at home. But that's just immaturity.

What I find appaling is that people ruling a country are immature enough to consider that sexual preferences matter in contexts of parenthood.

Oh forget that. Is there any mention about having kids in the catholic marriage ceremony?
Marriage is Marriage, hello, it's not Baptem.

Gay is just REAL, fact the facts.

Cedric Caspesyan

7/12/2006 10:40:00 AM  

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