Weekend Chuckle
OK, so most jokes I get emailed are rather forgettable, but this one is so exquistely rude (in every sense of the word), I thought I should share...feel free to add your own faves, but please do consider "*'ing" any strong profanity (it's not that big a deal, but I've learned that some folks who read at work have filters, and besides, you never know when the NSA might be reading over your shoulder):
A man enters his bedroom with a sheep under one arm. His lover is on the bed clearly bored.
"This is the pig I f*ck when you're not available for sex," says the man.
The lover languidly looks over and says, "I think you'll find that's a
sheep, you idiot."
The man replies, "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."
posted by Edward_ at
11:32 PM
9 Comments:
Delicious! Thanks for posting!
huh-huh-huh
He said, "Pig!"
Funny...
Heard a joke like this on an old episode of Matlock:
Comic in a strip bar (who is also a
transvestite, who is also a murderer) tells the crowd:
"A woman goes into a bar holding a duck under her arm. Her bartender says, 'Where did you get the pig?'
The woman says,'It's a duck. Are you blind?' And the bartender says,
'I was talking to the duck.'
Wasn't the same joke in the new Casanova movie? I only saw it in the trailer.
I needed that. Thanks,
That's always been my favorite quickie joke E. Although I've always heard it done with an Irishman. The fake brogue always adds a bit of humor as well.
An even shorter one (an much less humorous) =
A sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender looks at him and says, "Hey, we don't serve food here." -ducks the rotten tomatoes tossed my way-
An *insert ethnicity here* is out hunting and comes to a sign that says "BEAR LEFT".
So he goes home.
**rimshot**
This is an old one that was around when my "first generation in America" parents were young.
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this Country, we don't speak aloud in public places about your sex lives... " "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
I only have this fragment of a joke to add, and so late :(
An eskimo linguist and an industrial moth expert were sitting at the bar when a cloned dog walked through the door . . .
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